“If there is one unconscious law of the psyche, it is whatever is unconscious will be projected on the ‘Other'”
– James Hollis
- Do you sometimes have challenging relationships with your spouse, friends, children or any other people on your life?
- Do your relationships follow a pattern? Like having partners whom you believe treat you the same as the previous one?
- Does your partner push your ‘buttons’ and you have the same reponse every time and visa versa?
Then there some work to do in your relating with each other. The quality of you relationships is a reflection of the way of relating to the self. Someone with a low sense of self (low self esteem) will most probably attract people who will confirm these ‘unconscious’ beliefs and will end up be in a abusive relationship.
Romantic partners are just mirrors of your internal world and will carry the conscious manifestation energy of all your shadows. Romantic love is there for self growth and self development; after the ‘falling in love’ phase has passed. It is the best opportunity you will have in this life time.
The following beautiful quote illustrates this:
“So we bring ourselves to relationship. With scant knowledge of ourselves, we desperately seek our identity in the mirror of the Other, as we once did in Mom and Dad. With all the wounds of this perilous condition we seek a safe harbor in the Other, who alas is seeking the same in us. With our thousands of masks and adaptive behaviors and coping mechanisms we contaminate the frail present with the germs of the past”. (The Eden Project – In search of the magical other)
I use a combination of Jungian and Imago therapy to help you discover the unconscious shadows which are projected in the Other and heal which needs to be healed.
I am also available for workshops and public speaking in this topic and have done quite a number of workshops on relationships and shadow projection.