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Thoughts From My Couch
Manifesting a husband and children with a six step reframe
A 'six step reframe' is for me still one of the most fascinating NLP techniques which are usually taught at the NLP Practitioner's course. After all the years of doing NLP I still find this one of the most powerful processes as I again discovered recently.
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Six step reframe

A ‘six step reframe’ for me this is still one of the most fascinating NLP techniques which are usually taught at the NLP Practitioner’s course. After all the years of doing NLP I still find this one of the most powerful processes as I again discovered recently. This specific client asked me to help create her future for her. It is a wonderful process where the future outcome is installed in the client’s timeline. Working with her business outcome she had a very specific idea what she wanted for the next 5 years. When we shifted to relationships and specifically romantic relationships she said: “Help me to install a husband and children, the sooner the better.”

The therapist in me prompted to ask a few more questions and found a fascinating self sabotaging pattern. As soon as she found a relationship where it becomes more serious and she really ‘falls in love’ she will begin to look for the vulnerability in the partner and as soon as she found it she will keep picking at it until the partner eventually decided that he had had enough and leave the relationship.  “I can’t stop myself,” she said; words which we can all say at one time or the other. This has been the pattern her whole life.

In a six step reframe one establishes communication with the unconscious part which is doing this behaviour and asks the part to communicate consciously via body signals. Then the part is asked what its positive intention is with this behaviour. There is always a positive intention with any behaviour. When asked this (in light trance) she said: protection and safety.

The next step is to get new behaviours with the same positive intention but when asked if the unconscious part will accept the new behaviours there was a definite ‘no’ signal. If this happens I usually asked the unconscious part to take the client back to the event and time when this part came into her life. Immediately she said. “I am 10 years old. We are fleeing from Poland, I am losing all my friends, and I am so sad and so alone”. I helped her to heal that period with EMDR and Time line.  This unconscious part was only protecting her from getting hurt again, so as soon as she felt something special for a partner, the part knew that it was time to start running the pattern, to prevent her from the hurt which she experienced when she was 10 years old. Then I asked the part again: “Are you willing to accept the new behaviours now” and I run the new behaviours before this part and got a very clear ‘yes’ signal for every behaviour.

Tears were running from her eyes as she said: “I have not thought of this time in my life for so many years.” I then asked her to go back to that time again and install this new behaviour in her time line and let the 10 year old grow inside her until she is her present age. All that was left was to do a future pace where she was imagining herself in a future relationship and watched herself doing the new behaviours. In the next session this was also installed in her future time line.

This technique, as well as a lot of other fascinating techniques, is part of the NLP Practitioner’s course. For future training dates please visit the website  

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