Perceptual Positions
First position: The client in their own reality, their own map of the world. How they perceive and experience the 'problem'/relationship and how they feel about it.
Second position: The client as the other person in the relationship. Here the client experiences the situation, and themselves, from the other person's perspective.
Third position: This is a more objective position. The client sees the situation/relationship, themselves, and the other person, from a bit of a distance.
Before starting:
Calibrate throughout the exercise. Use your voice and language for rapport.
Note, Client is the client addressed by name, and Other is the name of the other person in the relationship. In this eg Other is a lady.
Process:
◦ “We're working with you and Other.”
◦ “Which chair is you?” Pointing at the other chair, “Other is then that chair.”
◦ “I want you to arrange the chairs so that they represent the relationship between the two of you.”
◦ “Take your seat.” Client is now in 1st position.
◦ “You're having some problems with Other.”
◦ “I'm going to ask you to invite Other's energy into the room. Go inside and ask your highest self if it's okay to work with them.” Calibrate!
◦ Gesture towards 'door'. “Invite Other in.” “See the way she is dressed.”
◦ “Allow her to come in.” “Welcome her.” “Invite her to site down.” Have a slight gap between each of these.
◦ NB!!! “Are you comfortable sitting there with no glass between you?” Calibrate!
◦ “Say what you really don't like.” “Other cannot hear you.” “Let it all out.”
◦ Examples of other questions to ask:
▪ “What happens to you?”
▪ “What do you feel?”
▪ “What's that like?”
▪ “What's happening to your body right now?”
◦ Look at second chair, gesture towards it and say “How does it feel to say these things, to let them out?”
◦ “Look at Other, we're going to ask you to become her, see what she sees, and hear what she hears.”
◦ “I'm going to speak to you as her looking at you.”
◦ “Sit like Other sits.” “Hold your body like Other holds their body.” etc
◦ “What can Other see?”
◦ As they associate more fully into being Other, ask them about themselves, addressing them as Other. Paraphrase and feedback their words, and calibrate.
◦ “Is there anything else you'd like us to know?”
◦ “What would you like to say to Client?”
◦ “What are your real feelings for Client?”
◦ Either a third person they know , who they admire, love, value their thinking,.... (Ensure the choice is suitable for the context)
◦ Or “Imagine you're beyond this life and looking back...”
◦ “Zoom in on Client there, notice that …......(problem). From this great view you have wisdom (Resources). Notice what you notice now is happening there now that it is all past.” “See Client's whole life, and how does that look now?”
◦ “Her there as you look from beyond life.... What does she need there that will help her?”
◦ “Now that you look back, how does it feel that you know this now? Connect this feeling (resource identified abouve) as a spirit being, breathe it in....”
◦ “How would you feel if we give Client there enough of this, just enough...” (NB, calibrate all the time – this question is also a type of ecology check)
◦ “Client won't be able to see you or hear you.” “In whatever way is right for you as a spirit being, I want you to emanate this energy to her.....so you know she is getting the message.”
◦ “The chair is filled with the energy of (resourceful state). Feel in all of your body, all of your baing and even beyond.”
◦ Suggest that the other person may look different now, that life may be different...
◦ “How can you in future (Possibilities for future, eg feel more included – relates to original problem)?”
◦ “How can you create a reminder for future... Words you can say to yourself...”
You can also use 4th position, the space/energy between 1st and 2nd.